一、男性成长三阶段

　　The Three Stages of Man:

　　He believes in Santa Claus.

　　He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

　　He is Santa Claus!

　　男性成长的三阶段：

　　相信圣诞老人的存在。

　　不相信圣诞老人的存在。

　　自己是个圣诞老人

　　二、法官与小偷

　　It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,

　　“What is your offense?”

　　“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.

　　“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

　　“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner

　　圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦的问受刑人：

　　“你做了什么坏事啊？”

　　“我今年圣诞节购物早了些。”犯人回答。

　　“那并不事件坏事”，法官说：“到底多早之前啊？”

　　“商店开门之前。”犯人答道。

　　三、1000元的脑筋急转弯

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

　　Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起？

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　答案：当然是圣诞老人啦！为什么？因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

　　四、铅笔

　　What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

　　Answer: use a pen

　　若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办？

　　答案：用原子笔

　　五、圣诞老人的爱好

　　What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

　　圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么？

　　答案：锄地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。)

　　六、送出去还有的东西

　　What can Santa give away and still keep?

　　Answer: a cold.

　　什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着？

　　答案：感冒。