Six ways to prevent affairs

Therapist Frank Pittman believes virtually all cheaters deeply regret straying.

"Infidelity is the most devastating crisis for a family," said Pittman. "It creates an atmosphere of simmering anger, secrets and dishonesty," he says.

Some estimates suggest half of divorces involve infidelity. But Pittman says couples can take preventive steps. Here are some pointers and tips:

1. Stay faithful yourself

If you don't want your spouse to stray, don't have an affair, either. Many affairs are sparked by revenge.

2. Don't marry a cheater

If your husband strayed from his former wife to be with you, then he could leave you for someone else.

3. Normalize lust

It's OK to be attracted to other people; just don't act on it. It's also acceptable to let your spouse know you find a celeb attractive. But don't let your eye wander checking out every hottie that walks by.

4. Don't share your marital woes with co-workers

They may be sick of hearing about it and say "If you don't like her, divorce her", just to be done with it. Or it can pull you and another disgruntled spouse closer together.

5. If you're thinking about having an affair, the best thing you can do is telling your spouse.

"You can say, 'I have noticed we have not had sex in a year,' " says Pittman. This way they can work on intimacy issues and prevent the affair.

6. Stay off the computer

If you are intimately connected to someone online, that's a red flag. Focus more on the intimacy in your relationship at home.

(Agencies)

Vocabulary:

infidelity:unfaithful to a spouse（不忠贞）

pointer:a piece of advice; a suggestion（意见；建议）

be done with it: 把事情结束

red flag: 危险信号

治疗学家弗兰克·皮特曼认为，几乎所有的婚姻背叛者都会为自己的出轨深感后悔。

皮特曼说：“对于一个家庭来说，不忠贞是个最具毁灭性的危机。它会让家庭充满怨恨、猜忌和欺骗。”

据估计，有一半的婚姻破裂都是由不忠造成的。而皮特曼医生说，夫妇们可采取一些预防性措施。以下是一些具体的意见和建议：

1． 自己要保持忠贞

如果不想让配偶出轨，你自己也要忠贞。很多婚外情都缘于报复。

2．不要嫁给“负心郎”。

如果你的丈夫背叛了他的前妻和你在一起，那么他可能也会背叛你和别人在一起。

3．保持适度的欲望

被别人吸引是正常的，但不要有所行动。让你的配偶知道你对一个名人很着迷也未尝不可，但不要让眼睛总停留在每个从你身边走过的美女身上。

4．不要将你婚姻的不幸告诉同事

他们可能烦于听你说这些，为了敷衍你，他们会说：“如果不爱她了，就离婚吧”。或者，这可能会拉近你和另一个对婚姻状况不满的人的关系。

5．如果你动了搞婚外情的念头，最明智的做法是告诉你的配偶。

皮特曼建议，“你可以这样说，‘我觉得我们好像一年都没有性生活了。’”他们可以采用这种方式处理好暧昧关系，从而防止婚外情。

6．远离电脑

如果你和某个网友联系密切，这可是个危险信号。将更多的注意力放在和配偶的关系上。